I had to buy new pants today.  My work pants got a big hole in the knee and that wasn’t giving off the classiest impression.  I was running short on time so I went to Target on my way to work.  I walked into the store and headed for the men’s department.  I found a nice pair of black pants and made my way to the fitting rooms.  The lady at the counter gave me a room and I informed her of my intentions.  “If things in here go good, I’ll be wearing these out the door.”  After receiving an awkward look from her I closed the door and preceded to try them on.  I know you’re expecting something funny at about this point, but it was rather uneventful. 

            The pants fit like they were made for me and I went back to the counter.  “Were all good!”  I told her.  She informed me that she needed to get somebody to walk me to the front.  “No problem” I told her.  She made a page on the loud speaker and within a few minutes a teenager arrived to be my escort.  I thanked the lady and David and I departed the fashions department.

            I asked David, “ya busy?”  He shrugged his shoulders and I told him I needed a few more things.  I began selecting some of the most obscure items I could think of that I actually needed or might need in the future.  Antifreeze, one apple, condoms, a family pack of mac and cheese and a magnifying glass.  I assured him that I was finished and we made our way to the registers.  Throughout our adventure we engaged in some small talk and eventually he said, “Bet you never been escorted through a store before.”  I half chuckled and replied “Well actually…”

            That story is the real story and I will post it after the trial.