September 2011
1 post
In the Past
It was the first Friday of my freshman year of high school. We all got out of class early because it was a half day for some reason. My buddy Nick, whose parents were quite well off, invited a bunch of us to go back to his house for swimming, billiards and whatever other toys his parents had.
Our group was solid. An almost perfect girl to guy ratio. And not just any girls either. These...
August 2011
1 post
Second Class Citizens
As some of you may know, I have begun student teaching. That’s right the future of our country is now in my hands. So Mark Kotiw Has Stories is going to evolve into Mark Kotiw is a Teacher.
Today I was speaking to my students about rights, specifically voting rights. I commented that not even a hundred years ago, some of the students in the class wouldn’t even...
April 2011
1 post
I Swear I Didn't Cry
The Following is a short assignment I had to turn into one of my education professors for some credit. Once I got done writing it I realized that this read like MKHS material so enjoy.
The artifact I have has come and gone; or should I say, healed. On Tuesday April 12th, I was volunteering at the LINC like I normally do. I play basketball with under-serviced or minority high...
March 2011
2 posts
Hell Pass
The first week of December 2010 was a rough week for me. It was the week before finals and I was also having some personal issues so I was all in all in a crappy mood. I was shopping at my friendly neighborhood Meijer to pick up a few essentials but not too much as I would soon be returning home for a month and I didn’t want a bunch of food to spoil.
As always the first thing I did...
Cat Burglar
About a week ago, my roommate brought home a kitten. This was not unwelcome news as I already had my cat Rupert and I was excited for him to get a brother. Whether animals or humans, horns are going to get tangled until they get use to each other. The cats would just stare at each other for ten minutes then one of them would pounce at the other and a race around the apartment would ensue. ...
September 2010
1 post
We Didn't Start the Fire
The other day I left my apartment for work early because I wanted to get an oil change and return a movie (Battlefield Earth) to Blockbuster Video. I still had not exceeded the suggested mileage that required a change but I was planning on driving 200 some odd miles home later that evening. All Quik Lubes and what have you were closed but I remembered that I had a quart of 10w 30...
April 2010
3 posts
You Can Lead a Horse to Water
The last few weeks in my anthropology class, we have been talking about healthy eating habits and the increasing obesity problem that faces our country. One out of every three kids born after 2000 will contract diabetes sometime in their life. Working at a restaurant I constantly see prime examples of this phenomenon and it is starting to get a bit irritating.
Today,...
The Best Story I Have Ever Heard Tribute
A month ago I heard the best story ever! I don’t want to make it a trend to post stories that aren’t of a personal nature but I heard this story and had to pass it along. So I was working at my restaurant and I was working a table of 12 which is the limit for one server to take so I was running ragged. I dropped off all the drinks and the old grandma at the far end of the table...
Mark is Stuck in a Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen...
Several summers ago I dated this girl. We had been seeing each other for several weeks now and while the girl was a bit off, we had fun together. So Elle was always talking about her sister and how cool her sister is and how I need to meet her sister. Finally, her sister’s boyfriend was having a small get together and Elle and I were invited. I had to work late as usual and was going to pick...
February 2010
1 post
New Pants
I had to buy new pants today. My work pants got a big hole in the knee and that wasn’t giving off the classiest impression. I was running short on time so I went to Target on my way to work. I walked into the store and headed for the men’s department. I found a nice pair of black pants and made my way to the fitting rooms. The lady at the counter gave me a room and I informed her...
January 2010
1 post
Doin Hard Time
So winter break is over and I’m finally back into the swing of things. Unfortunately, I couldn’t work at the Chili’s in Crystal Lake due to lack of availability on their part. Needless to say, I was ready to get back to my restaurant down here at school after taking a month off.
The other servers at my restaurant were surprised when I walked in for my first shift back. ...
December 2009
1 post
I Got "Booed" Today
I got “booed” today. For those of you who don’t know me, I am not a musician and I don’t play sports, at least anymore. But I got “booed” today.
My government class this week is hosting a mock congress if you will. We are presenting bills to our classmates of three hundred plus and have been legalizing things like gay marriage and trying to...
October 2009
2 posts
You Have The Right to Remain Silent, And Buy Us...
In 2006, my friend Darron and I went to a total of twelve Chicago Cubs games over the summer. Eleven at home and one at Wrigley North (Miller Park Milwaukee, Wi). While all the games possessed a certain memorable experience, one stands out above the rest.
It was about the fourth or fifth inning and the Cubbies were down big early. It was lightly misting on us...
You Have to Trim the Bushes in the Fall
So, I’ve been down at school for about six weeks now and I have been really busy and trying not to let things fall through the cracks. So far I’ve pretty much been on top of things, but one thing has constantly been slipping my mind. Today, I woke up and my mind was made up, “today, I trim my pubic hair”. It wasn’t Don King bad, but it was less tamed than I like.
...
September 2009
2 posts
Dropping the Browns Off at The Super Bowl
Last winter there was a girl. I guess you could say I was a tad more into her than she was with me. In fact, you should say that as she inevitably ended it. I wouldn’t quite have called her my girlfriend, but it was more than a one night stand.
One night, I met up with her and a few other friends at a local pub. Perhaps you’ve heard of it, “Halftimes”. I’m convinced it’s...
Beer, Now Cheaper Than Gas
About four years ago, I was in Indiana on a business trip. I ran out of undershirts so I went to a nearby store to pick some up. One of the shirts I purchased was a comical tee that read, “Beer, Now Cheaper Than Gas”. Finding this shirt to be humorous and grey, which was one of the colors I needed, I bought it.
Since then my style has changed a bit and I try to steer clear of...
August 2009
1 post
First College Visit
When I was 18, my buddy Brad and I drove up to the University of Whitewater to visit our friend Cork. We brought a handle of Captain Morgan for Cork because it was the first weekend of his first semester and he had no means of getting booze. We got up there around 9:30pm and just started pre-gaming for a bit before we went out. An hour or two went by and we were doing pretty alright. We went...
July 2009
1 post
Country Boys First Night at a Club
A couple of years back, I was being forced to attend an evening at a club with some co-workers. Clubs are not really my scene as I am not a strong dancer. No woman is ever going to gaze upon me while I’m dancing and whisper to her friend, “I’m gonna fuck him tonight.” I generally have to rely on my gift of gab to intrest any females. Clubs also have ridiculously loud...
June 2009
4 posts
"I'm gonna go puke, order for me!" The Pass Out...
When I was 19, my friend Dave and I were selected to represent our grocery store in Indiana. A store was to be grand opened and all Chicagoland stores had to send two. Dave and I were by far McHenry’s best. This entitled us to a week in a hotel and all meals paid for. We approached the situation with keen incite. We loaded up with two cases of Bud light, a handle of Jack Daniels, a...
Open House
When I was in my senior year of high school, my friend Brad and I had a Sunday morning tradition. We told our parents that we were going out to breakfast every Sunday, when really we were just driving around getting high.
One Sunday, we were driving past a developing neighborhood. There were several houses that only had the frame up and a few others that were recently lined. Brad had a great...
Fear and Loathing in Chicago
In the fall of 2003, my good friend Dave Morley was being forced to try-out for MTV’s The Real World. His girlfriend at the time or as my friends and I jest, The Dark Times, wanted to go out to Chicago to attend the open auditions. I had the day off and Dave called in a favor from a previous double date that he was more than justified to gain retribution. Not to mention, I was down for...
Pop Goes the Weasel
The other day, I was rushing home from work because my buddy was playing a show in Kenosha, Wisconsin and I was running a bit late. Upon entering my neighborhood a noticed two decently overweight women walking down the street. The mother was about 40 and the daughter was probably 15.f I thought to myself…”Good for them. At least they are making an effort.” After a few more...
May 2009
3 posts
What Kind of Party are you Looking For?
In the summer of 2006, my friend Brad and I drove to Los Angeles, California. The third day that we were there, we spent the whole day on the beach drinking and we retreated to our hotel room around 5 p.m. for a drunken mid-day nap. We awoke around 9 p.m. and didn’t have the energy to go out on the town but didn’t want to waste the night so we just went down to the hotel bar for a...
With a Little Help From My Friends
One day when I was 19, I was taking a piss at a urinal at work. Next thing I know, this punk walks in. Decked out with the leather jacket with spikes, the tight plaid pants and of course the 2 and a half foot green mohawk. The boy, who couldn’t have been over 17 years old, took the urinal next to me and began his business. Seconds later, he was just staring at me. I tried to ignore him...
Lost in Translation
When I was 21 I worked as a manager at a grocery store in Bloomingdale which is a heavely Indian area. I’m not talking about Native American Indians, I’m talking about Ghandi, Slumdog Millionaire Indian. This one kid worked for me, Hannish was his name and he was about 18 years old and had been in the country for about 5 years. Is accent was thick but his english was good. From...
April 2009
3 posts
A Nice Family Breakfast
A couple of months ago I went over to this girl’s house around 130 a.m. and by her house I mean her parents house. I met her at the door and we snuck through the house to her bedroom. Later in the night or the next morning, she told me I could spend the night and could have her bed but she had to sleep on the floor just in case her parents barged in.
I awoke sometime around 10:30 a.m. to...
Don't feed the birds
A few years back I was driving home from the mall alone as I had met an ex-girlfriend there and I did not go well. A hunger struck me and I was relieved to see the golden arches at the moment that the hunger hit me. After getting my food I pulled forward into the parking lot of a grocery store. Several other cars were parked in a secluded area and it was obvious that these were other cars that...
My Intentions
I don’t know if its all in my mind but some interesting shit happens to me. Sometimes I can’t believe what just happened until I tell someone the story. Unfortunately, my buddy Ryan is sick of hearing the same story over and over. So to prevent that I’m going to begin blogging my random stories here on tumbler. You might find some of the stories pointless but it is my belief...